Managing Expectations

When I was young I had a very strong p.o.v on how to act and expect of people. Yes, some may call me radical, but I just call them principles. People with them are hard to find, but once you do, hold on to them. ( They are the ones who will be there for you, when you least expect).

Today, as I grow older, I try to maintain myself close to people who do have values, principles and concerns that are very much aligned with mine. When I am going to meet a new person, and decide whether that person will become a close friend, that is something that now I take account for.

Well, ok, all of that may sound easy and obvious, but as I learned during the years, it is not all black and white ( as much as I believed and wanted it to be). Life does have shades of gray, and knowing how to fit my values inside this shade is the challenge I face myself today, in my early 20's.

As I was talking and thinking about this subject.. trying to understand if I had any growth on my part, I came across a very common thought that many people share: expect less from people, you will avoid getting hurt. I think this is crap today, as I thought this was crap four years ago. I do expect people to be nice, to act upon the definition of friendship and to believe on their principles. I do however, see a shade of gray, that in the past was yet not deciphered by me: I do not do to others, or treat others, as I would like them to treat me. ( I would like to, but all my friends disappointed me one time or the other- as I have disappointed them). The truth is, I will do what I have to, because I believe that this is right. If others don't agree with me or would do it differently, then go ahead. I just rather be me. No hard feelings.

I realized that today, I believe even more in my principles. I do believe that " preto no branco" would make all of our lives better, but I now know how to manage the shades of gray..even though it is hard and makes me feel sometimes like a fake.

I also realized that today, there are few people whom I admire, which is sad. I also realized that true friends.. ixi.. those are so hard to find.. and to maintain.. as people are always changing and evolving. Especially, because with time, people do grow apart.

I found that inside of me, because I have my values so strong in my heart, it is much easier to let people do what they think is right, and not agree with them. I understand now, that I will not change the world, I will not change people, and all I can really do with (A LOT OF EFFORT) is change myself.

The ones that say that will not change, are ignorants. You must evolve. You must let people do their own shit, but you must be true to your heart.

I am true to my beliefs, principles and values. I still have strong p.o.v's, but now I really know how to manage them better without getting disappointed all the time. And again, I would rather be me.